I'm turning 48 in a couple of weeks... it sounds so weird... because in my mind I'm still in my 20's... but my body tells me a different story.  So here I am, waking up every morning to take Maisie to school which then gives me a chance to take a few minutes for myself before heading back to my "job" as mom.  During these moments I like to go walking on the Ravenel Bridge.

It's nearly always picture perfect.  The sun has just risen, the scene before me is beautiful... the marsh grass, the river, the city's steeples sparkling in the sky.  On this day, I have "my boys" cranked up on the ipod... and I always start my walk off with "It's a Beautiful Day"... The Edge is strumming away at the guitar, while Bono belts out the lyrics... and it's then that I notice the shadow of a girl walking in front of me.  Her strides are purposeful and strong.  I imagine that she is someone who is confident and outgoing.
I wonder if she ever feels the way I do.... beaten up a bit by age... does her body ache the way mine does as it tackles the incline ?   Are her lungs gasping for air ?  Is she sweating nearly half as much as my menopausal body is ?

As my mind wanders and gets lost in all things U2... I start to notice that I'm catching up to the shadow of the girl in front of me.  Fueled by the beat I start taking bigger steps... I start to push myself harder and something happens.  I forget about my burning muscles and my aching lungs... now all I want to do is walk as fast as the shadow before me... pushing myself into new possibilities.

I am not an almost 48 year old... I am Cathy O... a woman who wants to take on the world... a mom who wants to foster creativity in her children... a wife that wants to adventure with her husband.  The clock  is ticking.  But it was at that  moment on the bridge... the "Carpe Diem" moment... when I noticed that I had caught up to the shadow I had been following.  I realized then, that the strong woman with the purposeful steps that propelled her forward in her journey... was the shadow of me.